Authentic Confidence

A key takeaway of what I’ve learned in my varied experiences and personal development training is the need to focus on emotional self-mastery.  I continue to be surprised at how some proven models of addressing our fear response is almost never adapted into development training such as public speaking, sales training, and leadership courses.

The principles of self-mastery discussed below are focused on fear, but they work for all sorts of emotional impulses that make life difficult, and well beyond the practice of street photography.

“Learn to get comfortable in the tension… learn to enjoy it. The more you do, the more you will grow.”

- Brian Begin 

In a social situation, often what causes nervousness is the concern over running out of things to say or of being “rejected.” Self-consciousness and head chatter (anxious self-talk) leads to poor performance in whatever context your social interaction is taking place. You need to let go of the emotional impulse so you can be at your best. This work can be described as cultivating the ability to be in your body rather than in your head. Actors do this to be more present with playing their character. Professional athletes have routines to calm their mind. The rest of us can also benefit from this skill so we can be at our most effective in our domains of expertise.

To skillfully connect with strangers for street photography portraits, we need to be authentic, confident, and able to quickly build trust and rapport.  Getting out of you head is the key to charismatic presence and conversation flow.  Being in your head is over-thinking in a self conscious way, which prevents you from accessing your ability to have a good conversation.

Being in your body is a way of being that allows you to observe any anxiety that comes up, and let them go so you can feel naturally confident. When head chatter and fears leave, you can flow with the interaction in a genuine way.  Not being in your head doesn’t mean you won’t know what to say, however. Like a high performing athlete, you do not think about what you know how to do - you just do it.

“The feelings of fear – whether tension and anxiety, shyness, self-consciousness, caution, holding back, or distrust – have the purpose of escape from the imagined threat, and put psychological distance from the feared situation or person….

…Letting go involves being aware of a feeling, letting it come up, staying with it, and letting it run its course without wanting to make it different or do anything about it.  It means simply to let the feeling be there and to focus on letting out the energy behind it.”

- From Letting Go, by Dr. David R. Hawkins